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Unclassified // recruiting copy // do not file

Open calls/CCC-CT-4412

Aug 12, 2026 · A district that feels left behind

Perennial Candidate

OPEN
Civic TheaterPrincipalPublic

The production requires a candidate who can lose with dignity, win with surprise, and cut a ribbon as if it were the first ribbon. You will not be told which offices are real.

Compensation
Campaign-rate, plus the barn jacket
Desk
Floor 1, Lectern Wing

Duties

  • Appear in diners at hours that photograph well
  • Have always been from here
  • Hold babies, tools, and opinions at arm's length
  • Debate an empty lectern if the other principal is delayed
  • Remember first names, forget policy numbers

Requirements

  • A biography that survives a single search
  • The ability to say “hardworking families” without smiling
  • Own a barn jacket, or can borrow one that looks inherited
  • Willing to concede, celebrate, or recount on cue
Submit a dossier for this role