Open calls/CCC-CT-3300
Sep 1, 2026 · Podium, with seals (decorative)
Spokesperson, Department of Remaining Calm
Civic TheaterPrincipalPublic
The production requires a person who can stand in front of a seal that is not a real seal and tell the room that everything is being looked at very closely.
- Compensation
- Podium-rate
- Desk
- Floor 1, Lectern Wing
Duties
- Describe unfolding events as “developing”
- Promise a briefing that will, in fact, be a briefing
- Redirect to the process
- Wear a color that polls as trustworthy
Requirements
- A voice that could narrate a nature documentary about paperwork
- The ability to pronounce “we have no higher priority” in one breath
- Must not improvise policy